break

one day you might just break
from the weight of it all
when you realise you're trapped
and it's too late for you

to go back and change

perhaps in the cul-de-sac of middle age
as the grinding axe comes to bear,
palpably, on the nape of the neck

rendering you mindless

"i could say the same about you"

no, I say
I've already been broken
I broke myself
and did it on my own terms
I've already been to that secure, awful boundary
rock bottom
where the edge is clear
where the limit reassures
I have orientated myself
from that end of the spectrum
so that now I can grow
thigmotrophically
knowing my direction
I have known myself through exhaustion,
overstimulation and deprivation,
yielding the freedom of knowing
the height from which we can fall
a spiritual vaccination
against the slings and arrows
and the hidden persuaders