Sprezzatura

we are what we repeatedly do, 
even what we pretend to be

i tried so hard at not trying

that it became easier to just go ahead and try
and so i tried and tried
so hard i wasn't even thinking about trying or not trying any more

*

all pursuance of authenticity is contrived
and contrivance itself is a form of authenticity
wherein attempts to be real are false, really
but falsehoods can be layered so thick
that they form a solid sediment
one that comprises a foundation 

a fundamental fabric of our psychic world

*

forgive me for not being able to forgive
the performances of false teachers and true charlatans

and the trumpeting troubadours that lead us nowhere

all singing and all dancing
enchanting us with the belief

that hard work is easy
all words and whimsy
all prophet's koan and jester's riddle

all pre-re-hearsed off-the-cuff sweat-less toil

*

everything worth anything in this world is effort

even all the stuff that isn't
either/or, just graft and commit
and churn that milk into butter