across the face

should i have burned down her house instead?
would it have stopped her coming back?
or would it have been too strong?
even when it wasn't enough?
the luve that burns and bursts.

in a moment of naive emotional alchemy,
i thought i could turn this vapour
into something solid;
something manageable;
something that could have its shape broken;
be thrown away and forgotten about.

it could have been so easy.
it should have been her hitting me.
a punch between the eyes for every time i got near,
my nose gradually getting shorter,
like pinocchio's twin,
every time i told the truth.

but instead i hit her
and god i saw the fear in her eyes,
in the eyes of my beautiful girl,
for whom i arrange so many words,
and i knew that nothing would ever be the same,
that everything was lost.

i hit her coz i couldn't run away
i hit her coz i didn't have the words
i hit her coz i was weak
i hit her coz i couldn't freeze in fear any more
i hit her coz i could see it all happening again.