why are all the best lays unconscious?

last night i dreamt i was fucking my ex. again. why am i always fucking ex-girlfriends in my dreams? i wake up harder than a tree trunk and knock it out so fast the alarm hasn't even stopped fucking bleeping by the time i inadvertently come on my own face. gross. it's been over a year since i had a really good lay that wasn't unconscious. i mean, don't get me wrong, i'm not ungrateful - i put my hands together in thanks for all the teenage tongues that have turned me epileptic, but i can't recall a recent balling that left me with the post-orgasmic shakes and shivers. "you're living in the past" says a friend, "when you still had a soul to share" ...has it really come to that? that the sex is better in the time machine of dreams? these are supposed to be the most virile years of my life? now i am truly fucked.